Is there an expiration date on the "punk ethos" excuse for not having your shit together? If there isn't, there should be.
Really though, I'm not sure if anyone EVER fully "gets their shit together". It would definitely feel better if it seemed you had. I think the problem is, it's always something. Always something you have to deal with. Just a constant, ongoing series of one challenge after another...
Edited at 2015-06-20 11:07 am (UTC)
Challenges are one thing, and yes! There are plenty of those and they're inescapable. I meant more along the lines of:
"I'm a writer and this magazine sucks because it won't publish my stories. What do you mean I need to use proper spelling and grammar? That's what an editor is for."
"I'm an artist because I break apart things and put them together and even though I've only been doing this a few years, my art is as good as anyone else's. It's not sloppy, it's raw."
"I'm a comic and funnier than everyone else in this town and if you don't invite me to perform at your comedy night, then you must be jealous of my talent."
"I'm not getting a job because that's selling out."
"I'm not going back to college because math sucks."
"I can get high now because as long as I'm not shooting up, I'm not an addict."
"My friend's marriage is falling apart, so I'm going to come on to his soon to be ex-wife and get her to sleep with me because why not?"
Basically being a perpetual 12 year old emotionally, expecting to be treated with a level of respect in the fields of writing, art and performance without doing any of the work or giving any respect to those who have been doing it much longer, and being a complete shit to the friends you have left, excusing all this awful behavior with, "I don't need rules because I live by a punk ethos."
This person is 55. It would be laughable if it weren't so pathetic.
No, it's my most recent ex, whom I completely cut off about two years ago when he lied to my closest friends and my own family about L, before they got the chance to meet him. It's an involved story and probably worth a post of its own.
A good friend of mine just had an exchange with him and was extremely upset, so she vented to me about it. With his past issues of substance abuse, I wasn't surprised to hear it and honestly at the rate he's going I don't think he's much longer for this world. It's a shame because when he was sober he was a charming, thoughtful and sweet man. I know people have different struggles, but when you've gone down a known path of self-destruction before and pulled yourself out of it I cannot conceive how you can willingly go back that way excusing your awful behavior with telling people "fuck you, I'm punk."